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"My lord," quod he, "whan that the weder is fair, |
| 590 | Withouten wynd or perturbynge of air, |
| Lat brynge a cartwheel heere into this halle; |
| But looke that it have his spokes alle, - |
| Twelve spokes hath a cartwheel comunly. |
| And bryng me thanne twelve freres. Woot ye why? |
| 595 | For thrittene is a covent, as I gesse. |
| Youre confessour heere, for his worthynesse, |
| Shal parfoune up the nombre of his covent, |
| Thanne shal they knele doun, by oon assent, |
| And to every spokes ende, in this manere, |
| 600 | Ful sadly leye his nose shal a frere. |
| Youre noble confessour - there God hym save! - |
| Shal holde his nose upright under the nave. |
| Thanne shal this cherl, with bely stif and toght |
| As any tabour, hyder been ybroght; |
| 605 | And sette hym on the wheel right of this cart. |
| Upon the nave, and make hym lete a fart. |
| And ye shul seen, up peril of my lyf, |
| By preeve which that is demonstratif, |
| That equally the soun of it wol wende, |
| 610 | And eke the stynk, unto the spokes ende. |
| Save that this worthy man, youre confessour, |
| By cause he is a man of greet honour, |
| Shal have the firste fruyt, as resoun is. |
| The noble usage of freres yet is this, |
| 615 | The worthy men of hem shul first be served; |
| And certeinly he hath it well disserved. |
| He hath to-day taught us so muche good |
| With prechyng in the pulpit the he stood, |
| That I may vouche sauf, I sey for me, |
| 620 | He hadde the firste smel of fartes thre; |
| And so wolde al his covent hardily, |
| He bereth hym so faire and hoolily." |
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"My lord," said he, "when next the weather's fair, |
| 590 | And there's no wind to stir the quiet air, |
| Let someone bring a cartwheel to this hall, |
| But see there are no missing spokes at all. |
| Twelve spokes a cartwheel has, sir, commonly. |
| And bring me then twelve friars, and know you why? |
| 595 | Because a convent's thirteen, as I guess. |
| The present confessor, for his worthiness, |
| He shall complete the tale of this convent. |
| Then shall they all kneel down, by one assent, |
| And at each spoke's end, in this manner, sire, |
| 600 | Let the nose be laid firmly of a friar. |
| Your noble sir confessor, whom God save, |
| Shall hold his nose upright beneath the nave. |
| Then shall this churl, with belly stiff and taut |
| As any tabour- let him here be brought; |
| 605 | And set him on the wheel of this same cart, |
| Upon the hub, and make him let a fart. |
| And you shall see, on peril of my life, |
| With proof so clear that there shall be no strife, |
| That equally the sound of it will wend, |
| 610 | And the stink too, to each spoke's utter end; |
| Save that this worthy man, your confessor, |
| Because he is a man of great honour, |
| Shall have first fruits, as reasonable it is; |
| The noble custom of all friars is this, |
| 615 | The worthy men of them shall be first served; |
| And certainly this has he well deserved. |
| He has today taught us so much of good, |
| With preaching in the pulpit where he stood, |
| That for my part I gladly should agree, |
| 620 | He might well have the first smell of farts three, |
| And so would all his convent, generously, |
| He bears himself so well and holily." |
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